Those of you who follow my twitter will know that today I announced I was going to be taking a break, but it was short lived. Here's an explanation for why that happened:
For the past few days I've been feeling very lonely. To be very honest my sister and husband are the only friends that I have in real life. I talk to people at work and people I sit with in my classes, but none of them are my friends. This loneliness made me begin to think of a time in life when I wasn't so bereft of human contact. It led me to two occasions. When I was a member of the Christian Church and when I was with my ex. Mutual friends played a key role in keeping me under his control for so long. When JT finally rescued me from him, I lost all of my 'friends' as well. The same thing happened when I stopped going to church. Tonight I began to think that if I went back to a church then I would have more support, more real life connections. I was struggling though with how I could reconcile my beliefs and my skills as a witch with rejoining the church. All day I was unable to speak with my husband. When I finally could, he put everything in perspective for me, as I knew he would.
I'm a witch. I always have been and always will. None of those people were ever my friends because if they were, then they would still be here.
But what does that mean? How do I proceed from here? I'm not sure. I need to focus on making more real life connections and friendships though, otherwise I'm going to have a serious melt down. Wish me luck.
Blessings to you and yours.
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