Mini Meltdown

     Those of you who follow my twitter will know that today I announced I was going to be taking a break, but it was short lived. Here's an explanation for why that happened:

       For the past few days I've been feeling very lonely. To be very honest my sister and husband are the only friends that I have in real life. I talk to people at work and people I sit with in my classes, but none of them are my friends. This loneliness made me begin to  think of a time in life when I wasn't so bereft of human contact. It led me to two occasions. When I was a member of the Christian Church and when I was with my ex. Mutual friends played a key role in keeping me under his control for so long. When JT finally rescued me from him, I lost all of my 'friends' as well. The same thing happened when I stopped going to church. Tonight I began to think that if I went back to a church then I would have more support, more real life connections. I was struggling though with how I could reconcile my beliefs and my skills as a witch with rejoining the church. All day I was unable to speak with my husband. When I finally could, he put everything in perspective for me, as I knew he would.

I'm a witch. I always have been and always will. None of those people were ever my friends because if they were, then they would still be here.

But what does that mean? How do I proceed from here? I'm not sure. I need to focus on making more real life connections and friendships though, otherwise I'm going to have a serious melt down. Wish me luck.

Blessings to you and yours.

Tread lightly

   I have always felt drawn to different aspects of paganism. Even when I was a devout member of the church, going 3 times a week, reading my bible every day, I still felt drawn to this magickal world. A world where I could control the outcome. A world where I was in charge of what happened and the Goddess and God were truly my friend. -Not to say I never felt the 'holy spirit', I felt joyous in gatherings when emotions were running high and everyone was praising the Christian God. I was often a feature worship dancer in the choir's cantata's. I was a leader in my youth group. I led children's church and planned mission trips.
    How is it that I left? Simple-people. At this point you may be saying how could people cause you to lose faith? How could you turn your back on God over a person?
    Everywhere I looked was hollow. The words spoke in the pulpit were filled with hate and misunderstanding of the true souls of mankind. People who Amen'd when guest pastors recalled how a teacher could be fired for being gay 'in his day'. How could I believe in the same deity that these people used to justify their hatred? I decided to take a break from my home church, visit some others, and go back when I felt like I was ready. By the time I went back though they had disowned me. Instead of welcoming me back and saying they missed me, they turned their back and dubbed me a sinner. Every church I found was the same way. So I started a journey, one that I have not yet finished,to find the deity that spoke to my soul.
     What I discovered is that all deity is the same. They are simple reincarnations of the same great being. At the heart of all teaching the commandment is clear-love. Be love and have love.
     However, magick is not acceptable by the Christian church. So where do I fit in? Longing to belong to a church, because in Appalachia that's just what you do. Especially if you're young and married. Longing to be apart of a group with the same religious faith and beliefs, but not willing to part with my Goddess. This is where I am in life. I am drawn to the same faith that would seek to burn me or hang me if they had the chance, all because of societal norms and conformity.

All I know for sure, is that all paths lead to the same place. Walk your path ever so gently and recognize that some have a more tumultuous journey than others. Be love and have love. 

Scaredy Witch

         If you weren't already aware-I am the biggest scaredy witch ever. I walk with my projecting hand out every where I go, just assuming I'll be attacked. Due to this I have made it my priority to know how to protect myself. Majority of this is precautionary, but better safe than sorry. Here's some home protection info:

• Spirits are frightened by noise, hang bells on your front door and they'll won't come in. 
• If you slam your door repeatedly spirits can get stuck in it and will eventually leave your home. 
• Salt and Silver really will protect you, so will cacti-why?I don't know.
• If the head of your bed is pointing South you are more likely to have your sleep disrupted. 
• If you have a porch, put a knife(blade down) into the ground under it. 
• Practice shielding, for me it is envisioning a white light surrounding my entire body. When your shields are up and strong you won't be as susceptible to spiritual attacks. 
• Mind what you say and watch your karma, simply put, do not invite negative energy into your life
• Consider making a Witch's Bottle (it can be a little gross, so be prepared if you google it)
• Use a mirror to send the negativity back to your attacker
• Witch's salt-a mixture of salt,charcoal, etc based on preference. 

Further than this would involve sigils and spellwork, which if the situation was serious I would be happy to help you with. Hopefully this gave you some insight on just a few of the simple things you can do to help yourself. I, of course, couldn't list every protection  tool here, but these are the basics. Good luck and Goddess bless.