Those of you who follow my twitter will know that today I announced I was going to be taking a break, but it was short lived. Here's an explanation for why that happened:
For the past few days I've been feeling very lonely. To be very honest my sister and husband are the only friends that I have in real life. I talk to people at work and people I sit with in my classes, but none of them are my friends. This loneliness made me begin to think of a time in life when I wasn't so bereft of human contact. It led me to two occasions. When I was a member of the Christian Church and when I was with my ex. Mutual friends played a key role in keeping me under his control for so long. When JT finally rescued me from him, I lost all of my 'friends' as well. The same thing happened when I stopped going to church. Tonight I began to think that if I went back to a church then I would have more support, more real life connections. I was struggling though with how I could reconcile my beliefs and my skills as a witch with rejoining the church. All day I was unable to speak with my husband. When I finally could, he put everything in perspective for me, as I knew he would.
I'm a witch. I always have been and always will. None of those people were ever my friends because if they were, then they would still be here.
But what does that mean? How do I proceed from here? I'm not sure. I need to focus on making more real life connections and friendships though, otherwise I'm going to have a serious melt down. Wish me luck.
Blessings to you and yours.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Tread lightly
I have always felt drawn to different aspects of paganism. Even when I was a devout member of the church, going 3 times a week, reading my bible every day, I still felt drawn to this magickal world. A world where I could control the outcome. A world where I was in charge of what happened and the Goddess and God were truly my friend. -Not to say I never felt the 'holy spirit', I felt joyous in gatherings when emotions were running high and everyone was praising the Christian God. I was often a feature worship dancer in the choir's cantata's. I was a leader in my youth group. I led children's church and planned mission trips.
How is it that I left? Simple-people. At this point you may be saying how could people cause you to lose faith? How could you turn your back on God over a person?
Everywhere I looked was hollow. The words spoke in the pulpit were filled with hate and misunderstanding of the true souls of mankind. People who Amen'd when guest pastors recalled how a teacher could be fired for being gay 'in his day'. How could I believe in the same deity that these people used to justify their hatred? I decided to take a break from my home church, visit some others, and go back when I felt like I was ready. By the time I went back though they had disowned me. Instead of welcoming me back and saying they missed me, they turned their back and dubbed me a sinner. Every church I found was the same way. So I started a journey, one that I have not yet finished,to find the deity that spoke to my soul.
What I discovered is that all deity is the same. They are simple reincarnations of the same great being. At the heart of all teaching the commandment is clear-love. Be love and have love.
However, magick is not acceptable by the Christian church. So where do I fit in? Longing to belong to a church, because in Appalachia that's just what you do. Especially if you're young and married. Longing to be apart of a group with the same religious faith and beliefs, but not willing to part with my Goddess. This is where I am in life. I am drawn to the same faith that would seek to burn me or hang me if they had the chance, all because of societal norms and conformity.
All I know for sure, is that all paths lead to the same place. Walk your path ever so gently and recognize that some have a more tumultuous journey than others. Be love and have love.
How is it that I left? Simple-people. At this point you may be saying how could people cause you to lose faith? How could you turn your back on God over a person?
Everywhere I looked was hollow. The words spoke in the pulpit were filled with hate and misunderstanding of the true souls of mankind. People who Amen'd when guest pastors recalled how a teacher could be fired for being gay 'in his day'. How could I believe in the same deity that these people used to justify their hatred? I decided to take a break from my home church, visit some others, and go back when I felt like I was ready. By the time I went back though they had disowned me. Instead of welcoming me back and saying they missed me, they turned their back and dubbed me a sinner. Every church I found was the same way. So I started a journey, one that I have not yet finished,to find the deity that spoke to my soul.
What I discovered is that all deity is the same. They are simple reincarnations of the same great being. At the heart of all teaching the commandment is clear-love. Be love and have love.
However, magick is not acceptable by the Christian church. So where do I fit in? Longing to belong to a church, because in Appalachia that's just what you do. Especially if you're young and married. Longing to be apart of a group with the same religious faith and beliefs, but not willing to part with my Goddess. This is where I am in life. I am drawn to the same faith that would seek to burn me or hang me if they had the chance, all because of societal norms and conformity.
All I know for sure, is that all paths lead to the same place. Walk your path ever so gently and recognize that some have a more tumultuous journey than others. Be love and have love.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Scaredy Witch
If you weren't already aware-I am the biggest scaredy witch ever. I walk with my projecting hand out every where I go, just assuming I'll be attacked. Due to this I have made it my priority to know how to protect myself. Majority of this is precautionary, but better safe than sorry. Here's some home protection info:
- Spirits are frightened by noise, hang bells on your front door and they'll won't come in.
- If you slam your door repeatedly spirits can get stuck in it and will eventually leave your home.
- Salt and Silver really will protect you, so will cacti-why?I don't know.
- If the head of your bed is pointing South you are more likely to have your sleep disrupted.
- If you have a porch, put a knife(blade down) into the ground under it.
- Practice shielding, for me it is envisioning a white light surrounding my entire body. When your shields are up and strong you won't be as susceptible to spiritual attacks.
- Mind what you say and watch your karma, simply put, do not invite negative energy into your life
- Consider making a Witch's Bottle (it can be a little gross, so be prepared if you google it)
- Use a mirror to send the negativity back to your attacker
- Witch's salt-a mixture of salt,charcoal, etc based on preference.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
In love with a stranger
My faith has taught me that everyone must live every lesson the God's have for them before they are allowed to rejoin them. To me this extends to every child being born into a variety of lifestyles, and even further so as to say that souls will sometimes choose their parents.
Being over a year into my ttc journey I'm left to wonder-why is it that no soul has chosen me? Do they believe I have no wisdom to help them complete this incarnations tasks? Or is it that the Goddess wishes I serve Her in other ways? I cannot help but become bitter about my situation. Try as I may, my resentment grows more everyday. Sometimes I'll have moments where I think to myself Perhaps it is better that I have no children but this is just a fable attempt at self consoling.
I do not dare to perform any fertility magick as of yet, because I am so very concerned that the Goddess has some other plan for me. It is very difficult. I mourn for this child that I have never met, each month my sorrow intensifying.
I have conceived a child before with my ex. It was a drunken conception and an ectopic one. (My tube was saved.) Could it be that that was my one chance for motherhood? I don't want to believe that, and I can't believe it. The Great Mother Goddess has a plan for my husband and I, I must give Her my trust.
Being over a year into my ttc journey I'm left to wonder-why is it that no soul has chosen me? Do they believe I have no wisdom to help them complete this incarnations tasks? Or is it that the Goddess wishes I serve Her in other ways? I cannot help but become bitter about my situation. Try as I may, my resentment grows more everyday. Sometimes I'll have moments where I think to myself Perhaps it is better that I have no children but this is just a fable attempt at self consoling.
I do not dare to perform any fertility magick as of yet, because I am so very concerned that the Goddess has some other plan for me. It is very difficult. I mourn for this child that I have never met, each month my sorrow intensifying.
I have conceived a child before with my ex. It was a drunken conception and an ectopic one. (My tube was saved.) Could it be that that was my one chance for motherhood? I don't want to believe that, and I can't believe it. The Great Mother Goddess has a plan for my husband and I, I must give Her my trust.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Is Wicca the 'Old Religion' ?
Ever since Gerald Gardner burst onto the scene in the 1950's, bringing to light what many had long sought to keep hidden, there has been the debate much like the one between the chicken and the egg-what came first? The Goddess or the Christian God? Meaning, does Wicca really predate any modern notions of Christianity?
There will never be an indisputable answer to this question, and it is highly likely that it's best that way, but let's look at the story that Raymond Buckland (the man who brought Wicca to North America) tells about the emergence of Wicca. Buckland writes in his book " Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft" that men and women were so in awe of nature that they turned everything into a God. They saw, as many still do today, hunting as masculine so anything to do with hunting became a God, and gathering and all things associated with it became a Goddess. With God's and Goddess came rituals to appease them and a priesthood to oversee these rituals. The members of said priesthood became known as the Wita-or wise ones.
At this point in time Pope Gregory the Great thought that he could make a mass conversion of people to Christianity by building churches on Pagan places of worship and smash any depictions of the gods and goddesses. The Gods of the Wita then became the devils of Christianity in a very literal sense. The God of the "Old Religion" was depicted with horns, so naturally the Christian's Devil must appear with horns as well. After the church had made a visual representation out of it, it wasn't a huge leap for them to begin calling the Pagan's devil worshipers (up until the time that the Christian church created him he was not even in existence ).
You may have noticed in that brief overview of addressing how the persecution of witchcraft began that I didn't answer the question raised. This is for a very simple reason-it does not matter. It is my belief that Wicca, whether it is the old religion or not, is at least modeled after something ancient and beautiful; worshiping the Gods throughout the Wheel of the Year with esbats and sabbats, using our knowledge to help others, and spreading love and light wherever we can.
i leave you with this thought : there are many paths to walk in this life, some are harder than others, recognize this and choose to walk your path ever so gently and lend a hand to those whom have fallen while walking theirs.
Blessed Be.
There will never be an indisputable answer to this question, and it is highly likely that it's best that way, but let's look at the story that Raymond Buckland (the man who brought Wicca to North America) tells about the emergence of Wicca. Buckland writes in his book " Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft" that men and women were so in awe of nature that they turned everything into a God. They saw, as many still do today, hunting as masculine so anything to do with hunting became a God, and gathering and all things associated with it became a Goddess. With God's and Goddess came rituals to appease them and a priesthood to oversee these rituals. The members of said priesthood became known as the Wita-or wise ones.
At this point in time Pope Gregory the Great thought that he could make a mass conversion of people to Christianity by building churches on Pagan places of worship and smash any depictions of the gods and goddesses. The Gods of the Wita then became the devils of Christianity in a very literal sense. The God of the "Old Religion" was depicted with horns, so naturally the Christian's Devil must appear with horns as well. After the church had made a visual representation out of it, it wasn't a huge leap for them to begin calling the Pagan's devil worshipers (up until the time that the Christian church created him he was not even in existence ).
You may have noticed in that brief overview of addressing how the persecution of witchcraft began that I didn't answer the question raised. This is for a very simple reason-it does not matter. It is my belief that Wicca, whether it is the old religion or not, is at least modeled after something ancient and beautiful; worshiping the Gods throughout the Wheel of the Year with esbats and sabbats, using our knowledge to help others, and spreading love and light wherever we can.
i leave you with this thought : there are many paths to walk in this life, some are harder than others, recognize this and choose to walk your path ever so gently and lend a hand to those whom have fallen while walking theirs.
Blessed Be.
Merry Meet
Hello Loves;
It would be rude to assume that everyone reading this also follows me on Twitter, so I will take a moment to introduce myself: I am 19, married to JT, a solitary eclectic witch, and pulling double duty as a house wife and working outside of our home. I live in the bible belt, so I'm in "the broom closet" as it were about my religion. I am an ordained minister , but have never done anything with the title. Aside from getting married my life has been rather boring since I graduated High School a year ago so I'm afraid this introduction may be rather short.
This blog will center around the things relating to my spirituality that I have knowledge of. I do not claim to be an expert, simply wishing to share that which I am so passionate about. I hope that you will stay as I learn more and grow in my walk with The Goddess.
Blessed Be.
It would be rude to assume that everyone reading this also follows me on Twitter, so I will take a moment to introduce myself: I am 19, married to JT, a solitary eclectic witch, and pulling double duty as a house wife and working outside of our home. I live in the bible belt, so I'm in "the broom closet" as it were about my religion. I am an ordained minister , but have never done anything with the title. Aside from getting married my life has been rather boring since I graduated High School a year ago so I'm afraid this introduction may be rather short.
This blog will center around the things relating to my spirituality that I have knowledge of. I do not claim to be an expert, simply wishing to share that which I am so passionate about. I hope that you will stay as I learn more and grow in my walk with The Goddess.
Blessed Be.
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